Saying Goodbye

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I haven’t posted in a while. There’s a lot of reasons for this, I’ve taken on several projects, I’m knee deep in the renovation of my home, I’m actively creating art for my Patreon page, I’m involved in a new business venture.

But more than anything I just listed, I’ve been emotionally wiped out by a death in the family. No, it’s not a human family member, thank god. But it hurts like one. Four weeks ago, our beautiful Lab/Husky mix, Koa, was hit by a car. His back was broken in two places and there was no realistic way to save him. Now people lose pets all the time, and we have had our fair share of pets die over the years. Dogs, cats, bunnies, living on a busy road claims it’s victims. But Koa was more than a pet. We adopted him 5 years ago, to help fill an empty place in our home after my mother passed away. At the shelter, while his siblings rushed the cage to bark and get our attention, he sat back and just looked at us. Kris and I looked at each other and said together, “I like that one”.

He was beautiful and gentle and an unbelievable mooch. For the past 5 years he has been our constant companion. He was always part of the family. Nearly a month since he died we still think we hear him at the door, or we’ll have food and think “Koa’s gonna love this”, only to remember he’s not there anymore. We cried when he was hit and we cried when we had to put him down. I’ve cried more often than I care to admit the past few weeks. There has been a dark cloud of sadness in the house.

We will move on of course, that’s what you do with loss. But it’s hard to imagine not still missing him and feeling sad. For my family, Koa’s loss is the latest in difficult deaths. My mother’s passing in November of 2012 was followed by the sudden death of my brother in November 2016. Koa leaving us too soon just continues the sadness we feel.

I don’t have a point with this post, other than I needed to put my feeling into print, to work through the pain. To say thank you to Koa for the joy and companionship he gave us. To tell him we loved him and we miss him.

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